First he was a Roamin' Catholic; now he's a Fallin' Catholic. And he doesn't look too happy about it.
The history of the Holy Roman Empire, ruled by the Hapsburgs from the city of Vienna, has always been an interest of mine. One major focus of my interest has been the Thirty Year's War, a continental catastrophe that seems larger than life and yet is also basically a mystery to everyone.
Oh! What a lovely war
August 4: Friday
See, I just got out of class. We've advanced another hundred years or so in Austrian history, and next class will be the Thirty Year's War - the last major religious conflict in Europe. I thought I'd quench my excitement and detail some of the war right here, right now... and maybe add a little to it later.
Defenestration Nation
I'm gonna start this brief history with a bang: the Defenestration of Prague (one of many, but you don't need to know that). It started simply enough.
Within Bohemia, quite a lot of people weren't too fond of the Hapsburgs ruling the Holy Roman Empire. Among many things, they were dissatisfied with the Catholicism of the regime. Rather than voicing their displeasure in a sober way, they decided to rush themselves over to the Bohemia capital, and teach the Catholic authorities there a lesson.
So, who were the players in this defenestration?
Well, leading the defenestrators (Protestants) was one Count Thurn. He brought his gang into the office where the Catholic counselors were meeting and essentially chose two of them to get tossed out a window (a couple others were hurried away). Oh, and an unlucky courier was also chosen to be thrown out. So that's three people: the Catholic figures Wilem Slavata and Jaroslav Martinitz, plus the unlucky courier Philip Fabricius, who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Annnnd out the window they go. All three of them. I've gotten mixed accounts about how high the windows are; they were AT LEAST 30 feet up and maybe even 50!
But guess what? None of them died.
Oh, no, they hit the bottom and promptly limped to their feet. The courier, Philip Fabricius, actually managed to grab a horse and escape, all the way to Vienna where he could spread the news!
So... how'd they survive that fall? Well, propaganda varies the story. The Catholics, of course, said it was a miracle. Pictures were drawn of angels gently lowering their fall out the window. God was on the side of the Catholics, of course.
Protestants told a different story. See, the three guys didn't fall on hard cobbled street, but instead on a big fat pile of manure. So, sure, they ate shit like Biff in Back to the Future, but at least the landing was somewhat soft. Protestant propagandists sure thought that it was a fitting way for them to land.
I myself have heard a third theory in a book I read. One of the reasons that these three guys got a soft landing was because of their clothes. See, these big Baroque coats catch air and slow you down as you fall. I don't know how true that is, but it sure is an action-packed, surprising start to one of the worst wars central Europe had ever seen... yet.
Vineyards
Later this evening I went walking with one of my classmates, my TA, and the Professor. I've been told we're going to do quite a lot of walking on this trip, so it seemed like a good place to practice.
